Understanding Toddler Biting: Why It Happens and How to Stop It – The Ultimate Guide

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When my toddler bit another child for the first time, I was mortified. If you’ve been there, you’re not alone!

We all know that kids don’t bite just because they want to. It’s like an iceberg—what you see on the surface is only a small part of the story. 🧊

Underneath that behavior could be a mix of frustration, sensory overload, or a struggle with communication.

So, let’s take a deeper look at what’s really going on—and explore some practical ways to help your toddler manage those overwhelming emotions.

Plus, we’ve created a "Biting Behavior Log" to help track triggers and progress💖!

Why Toddlers Bite: The 3 big Reasons

1. Overwhelming Emotion

Toddlers are just beginning to navigate their big feelings!

Their brains are still like soft clay, shaping and growing, especially the part that helps with self-control and decision-making—the frontal lobe.

But don’t worry, this important part won’t be fully ready until they’re about 25😉!

So, when your little one bites or acts out, remember: they’re still learning how to manage those intense emotions.

It’s not personal. They don’t have the tools to express themselves yet.

If you believe biting is a way for your child to express themselves due to limited language skills, you can:

1. Put feelings into words:
   "Do you want a turn with the toy truck?"
   "Can I have a turn with the teddy bear now?"

2. Help express feelings appropriately:
   Teach your child to say, “I’m mad!”
   Suggest releasing emotions by squeezing a stress ball or stomping like an elephant.

3. Reinforce verbal communication:
   "You asked for a turn with the toy car instead of grabbing. Great job!"

4. Offer choices:
   Let your child decide which puzzle to do or which storybook to read to give them control and reduce frustration.

5. Consider a speech-language assessment:
   If you're concerned about language delays, a speech therapist can help guide their development.

Overstimulation:

Life can get noisy and chaotic, and for toddlers, especially those who are neurodivergent or hypersensitive, everyday sounds and sights can feel overwhelming.

This sensory overload may cause them to bite as a way of coping with the intensity. To help, you can:

1. Provide Sensory Breaks:

   If the child is overwhelmed by sensory input, create a calm space where they can take breaks.

2. Avoid crowded places like malls or busy playgrounds, especially during peak times.

3. Sensory tools like noise-canceling headphones or weighted blankets can work wonders.

   See TOP 10 Calming gifts for Highly Sensitive Kids!

2. skills that have not yet been developed

It's essential to gently show that certain behaviors aren’t okay, but without making the child feel ashamed.

Instead, we aim to empower them with better ways to express themselves and understand their feelings

Here are some examples of what you can say to intervene in a gentle, constructive way:

1. "Ouch! That hurts, we don’t bite others. Can you think of a way to tell your friend what you want?"

2. "I know you’re frustrated, but biting isn’t the solution. How can we solve this together?"

   • By offering understanding and helping find a solution, you reinforce that frustration can be expressed in constructive ways.

3. "It’s good to show what you’re feeling, but let’s find another way than biting."

   • Here, you're helping the child understand that there are better options, while still validating their feelings.

4. "We need to keep our hands to ourselves, not bite. Let’s use our words to share how we’re feeling instead.''

   • Encourage the child to verbalize their needs instead of acting impulsively.

5. "Look, your friend looks sad. What can we do to make them feel better?"

   • This helps the child understand the impact of their actions and develops empathy.

The key is to stay calm and guide the child through their emotional immaturity.

Imitation:

• Toddlers are constantly learning by watching the world around them, and that includes mimicking behaviors they see.

  Have they seen someone bite—maybe another child, or even something on TV?

  Imitation is a huge part of how they learn and understand the world.

3. Unmet Need Behind the Biting

Sometimes, biting is a toddler’s way of communicating an unmet need.

Perhaps they're feeling hungry, tired, craving attention, or simply in need of comfort.

Biting might be their way of saying, “I need something!”

Attention-Seeking:

Is your toddler biting to get attention?

If you respond dramatically, it might encourage the behavior more, since that’s what they’re seeking.

• A more effective approach includes:

  • Staying calm: Keep your tone neutral and composed.

  • Validating their emotions: Acknowledge how they’re feeling (e.g., “I see you’re frustrated”).

  • Offering a positive alternative: Suggest an appropriate way to express their feelings.

  • Providing a constructive activity: Redirect their energy toward something productive or soothing.

Sensory Exploration:

Toddlers use their mouths to explore the world around them, including people.

• To help them explore safely, offer age-appropriate items like teething rings, and chewable toys that they can safely explore with their mouths.

• Check out our top 4 book recommendations in our resources below!

Teething:

Sore gums can make toddlers crave something to chew on.

• Offer teething toys like silicone rings, cold washcloths, or freezer-safe teethers to soothe discomfort.

  You can also try gentle gum massages to help relieve their pain.

Family-approved favorites – tried, tested, and loved!

4. Helpful resources

As promised, here are the tools to help you navigate your toddler's biting behavior more effectively:

BOOKS ABOUT BITING:

Reading stories about biting can be a valuable teaching tool.

While reading, encourage your child to think about how the characters might feel.

• Here are some great titles to read:

  • Teeth Are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick

  • No Biting by Karen Katz

  • People Don't Bite People by Lisa Wheeler

  • Little Dinos Don't Bite (Hello Genius), by Michael Dahl

Family-approved Favorites Books!

BITING BEHAVIOR LOG:

Use this log to track when, where, and why biting happens.

Identifying patterns can help you develop effective strategies.

V.I.P. C.A.R.E.!

If you're like me, someone who loves reading and absorbing all the helpful tips out there, but then gets overwhelmed by where to start—don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Here's an easy-to-remember acronym that could be super useful when dealing with toddler biting.

Let’s break it down with V.I.P. C.A.R.E.!

• Validate their emotions

• Include them in problem-solving

• Praise progress, big or small

• Consider sensory needs

• Act with patience and understanding

• Remind them of positive behaviors

• Engage with empathy

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We'd love to hear from you!

Share your thoughts in the comments below

Ready for more heartwarming moments?

Check out our other posts for a treasure trove of parenting joy! Happy reading! 😊

• 10 Inclusive Social Stories Books for Kids - Exploring Autism

• Creating Stronger Bonds: 32 Activities to Deepen Connection with Highly Sensitive Children

• Little Hearts, Big Smiles: Joyful SEL Activities for Toddler Emotional Well-Being

• TOP 10 : Sensory-Friendly Toys for toddlers

Have a wonderful day, and keep being the amazing parents that you are! 🌟💕

Ana @ DdL Mom

I really appreciate you taking the time to read this article!

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