How to Support my Neurodivergent Daughter?

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Hello, Mamas!

Today I want to share a tribe's wisdom. Let's explore the heartfelt insights shared by other moms navigating the journey of raising neurodiverse daughters.

If you’re navigating this journey, you might find these experiences familiar and, hopefully, feel a bit more connected and understood.

Understanding Our Neurodivergent Daughters

Here are some common challenges many neurodivergent girls face:

- Struggles with Peer Friendships: They often find it tough to make friends with peers but form beautiful connections with younger children and adults.

- Emotional Regulation Challenges: Daily upsets, anger, and outbursts can be frequent. These intense emotions might be what we refer to as meltdowns.

- Difficulty with Change: Transitions, like moving from one activity to another, can be especially hard. Changes in routine, such as a beloved teacher being absent, can noticeably impact their behavior.

- Sensitivity to Loud Noise and Crowds: Many neurodivergent girls have heightened sensitivity to sensory inputs, making loud noises and crowded places overwhelming.

- Self-Perception Issues: They might feel different, struggle with self-doubt, or express negative self-talk. It’s really heartbreaking to see them feel this way.

- Managing Tasks Elsewhere: Some girls can manage daily tasks like dressing and bedtime routines better when they’re in different environments, such as at grandparents’ houses.

- Struggles to Relax: Difficulties switching off, relaxing, or sleeping are very common.

Ways to empower neurodivergent daughters

Here are some ways to empower our neurodivergent daughters:

Education and Awareness: Take the time to learn about neurodiversity and understand that neurodivergent children may approach tasks in unique ways compared to neurotypical children.

Seeking Diagnosis: Consider private assessments to avoid long waiting times. Early understanding can lead to earlier access to resources, therapies, and interventions tailored to the child's specific needs, potentially improving their developmental outcomes and overall quality of life.

Support at School: Engage with the school to ensure they effectively understand and accommodate your child's unique needs.

Emotional Support: Help your child understand that being different is okay and that they are not alone by:

• Showing empathy and understanding towards their challenges and emotions.

• Encouraging open discussions about feelings and differences.

• Celebrating your child's unique strengths and interests.

• Applying therapeutic techniques, like:

  • Using positive affirmations like "I can do this."

  • Imagining calming scenes to reduce anxiety.

  • Breaking down problems into smaller steps for easier solutions.

  • Applying deep pressure to the body to help regulate the sensory system.

• Achieving unconditional self-acceptance, emphasizing that mistakes are opportunities to learn and encouraging self-love and acceptance, flaws included.

• Managing perfectionism and frustration, setting achievable goals, and acknowledging every step of progress made.

• Avoiding procrastination and maintaining progress:

  • Establishing a structured routine or schedule.

  • Using visual aids to track progress and stay motivated.

  • Celebrating achievements to reinforce positive habits.

Community Support: Join local parent support groups and online communities. Sharing experiences can be incredibly comforting and helpful.

Recommended Resources to help Neurodivergent girls

Here are some recommended resources that could be very helpful:

Recommended Reading

• The Explosive Child by Ross Greene

• Beyond Behaviours by Mona Delahooke

• Your Child is Not Broken: Parenting your Neurodivergent Child without losing your Marbles by Heidi Mavir

• Can you see me? By Rebecca Wescott and Libby Scott

• Martian in the playground: Understanding the Schoolchild with Asperger′s Syndrome by Clare Sainsbury

• Autism, Girls & Keeping it all inside white paper by Autistic Girls Network

• M is for autism by the children at Limpsfield Grange and Vicky Martin

Websites:

• Autistic Girls Network.org

• NeuroWild

• The Autistic Teacher

Final Thoughts

To all the moms feeling overwhelmed: You're doing an incredible job just by seeking information and support.

Keep going—you're making a real difference in your child's life.

Feel free to share your experiences and advice in the comments. We’re all in this together, supporting and lifting each other up.

With love and understanding,

Ana + DdL Mom 💖

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